I think I'll use this blog to vent.

Dear Blog,

I recently came across a forum thread that grated on me, but I'm too lazy to sign up just to post an answer, so I think I'll just whine at it from over here.

Original thread: http://www.fanpop.com/spots/harry-potter-vs-twilight/articles/45457/title/whats-wrong-with-bella
Posts I'm responding to specifically:
Athiya said:

@krolitika_009: I think that's SMeyer after-thought. She realized that people had said that Jessica was actually nice, so tried to change their perspective through revealing what's really in her mind.

Now, imagine this. You're a new kid in school. Then, a girl approach you and sat with you through two classes. You probably would strive a conversation with her, or at least remember her name. But this wasn't the case with Bella. I quote;

"I couldn't remember her name, so I smiled and nodded as she prattled about teachers and classes. I didn't try to keep up."

She didn't try to keep up. She couldn't remember her name. She was not being nice! There Jessica was, a girl who was trying to have a conversation, and she couldn't care less.

PotterLambert93 said:

Thank you for pointing this out!
It;s true, Bella is nothing but a dull, moody, winy baby who takes avantage of others and only has room for a guy whos been dead for over 100 years. I always thought that Jessica was annoying, but now that you mentioned it she was acutally trying to make Bella feel more comfortable at school and letting her be her friend, but what does Bella do? treat her and the others like CRAP!! I would have been grateful to have a friend like Jessica and join her circle of friends. That just goes to show how ungrateful Bella is with her life.

My response:
>>I would have been grateful to have a friend like Jessica and join her circle of friends. That just goes to show how ungrateful Bella is with her life.<< I know I have absolutely no right to involve myself with this discussion, as I haven't read Twilight (or most popular works of fiction, for that matter), but that remark makes me squirm a bit. I don't like to consider myself a bad person for reacting to people in a way similar to this character as quoted/described in this thread. When I'm new in a place and someone randomly comes up and starts socializing at me, I have a pure fight-or-flight reaction but the tact not to do either...so it's basically a torture session for me and I often come to resent the person for draining me of my time and energy just so they can feel like my heroic rescuers from solitude. And if they start touching me, like patting me on the arm at intervals, I am literally immobilized with adrenaline. I have to take a step back and remind myself that they honestly think that they're being nice. And darned if I remember their names or even their faces by the end of the day unless there's something very unique about them. Unbelievably enough, a lot of people at my university actually seem to know and like me...and yes, I do sometimes feel guilty for not knowing which extrovert I'm tasked with saying hello to with a fake smile plastered on my face this time. I do have a few people I can handle, but they are few and far between, and even in those cases our communication is sporadic. (On a note related to an earlier post in this thread, there's a fair chance I would grieve for quite some time if one of those precious few "dumped" me outright rather than gradually distancing themselves. My brain doesn't perceive the flow of time very well with regard to high-stress events of that nature, and because they've actually earned my trust and respect, losing one of them would sting like nothing in the world. In some ways it would be similar to grieving a death, but with the complication of being a direct, deliberate response to me in particular.) Would I make a detestable fictional character? Most likely. Is there something seriously wrong with me? Possibly. Would I rather be as likable to people similar to this Jessica on the inside as I apparently am on the outside? No, I'd rather like myself. Because I do like myself at the moment. I have many rationalizations for my behavior that make me feel as warm and fuzzy as you please: Autistic; schizoid; too smart to have to be a captive audience for loud, emotion-saturated rambling about topics I cannot force myself to care about; I owe nothing to people I never invited within my fragile boundaries; if they won't leave me in peace, they deserve my evil, wicked attempts to escape their reach.
So yeah, maybe this Bella and I can be dull, moody, whiny characters together. Woo!

...Of course, any of this could be written well or poorly. I've never sat down to read the Twilight narrator's portrayal for myself.

Dreamlet about a little monstery thingy

I think the real dreamlet had less dialogue.

I did not know I had this.

I found this when I was trying to make a Blogspot blog for my Second Life roleplay character (if I can just actually write her letters! Why did I ever get the idea to hand-write them? D:), and I do not remember making it. I do not remember writing anything on it. I do remember the comics posted here, and I'm glad they're preserved somewhere, but seriously, what is this thing??

Maybe I should post some more here in the future. :)

Groceries!

Cat owners will understand.

Scripts

Okay, I have been wanting to do some comics for awhile now, but as it is I have allowed two consecutive weeks to pass without actually producing one. The reasons are mainly due to my homework schedule; as it is I am pretty far behind on my reading for one of my class, I missed a writing assignment in Japanese due to forgetting to mark down that it was due, I have a big filming assignment due Monday that requires a video camera with an external microphone (which the one we bought last week does not have), and then there will be the normal volume of homework for next week. It is also not so good that I do not know how to do accurate, clean, inky-beautiful drawings, which I think my meta-storyline deserves.
So I do not forget, I might as well post the scripts of the comics I was going to draw.

Apocrypha: Red Means Danger

Panel 1: Kenny (9) and Rozetta are walking down the street, presumably coming home from some errand or other, chattering banally about their daily business. The street is not empty by any means; there are various fantasy creatures in modern attire who also appear to be heading somewhere. They appear well-versed in the art of cellphone text-messaging whist walking and various other common present-day skills. I have no idea what kind of architecture would appear behind them, given that the setting is an ever-so-slightly-futuristic desert community.

Panel 2: Kenny spots a girl slightly older than himself. She is going the opposite direction on the sidewalk, and her appearance is prettier than average but clothed in the same basic manner as everybody else. Ken identifies her to Rozetta as an actress in one of his favorite horror films.

Panel 3: The girl passes them, and Ken and Rozetta's discussion continues, and Rozie is somewhat amused at his extensive knowledge of the child star.

Panel 4: The actress is apparently pretty far behind them, because Ken is turned almost all the away around to look at her whilst still walking forward. A blush appears across his otherwise pale face even as he unknowingly approaches a mesh construction fence.

Panel 5: Someone off-panel, presumably Rozetta, shouts, "Kenny!!" The construction fence is indented and Kenny is nowhere to be seen.

Panel 6: Rozetta is seen standing on the sidewalk over a hole in the ground, where exposed pipes imply that underground construction is being done. She begins to say, "You know, sometimes talking with you and stuff, it's easy to forget you're just a kid..." The bubble continues closer to the next panel, "And for the record..."

Panel 7: Rozetta's now-from-offscreen speech bubble says, "This is not one of those times." Kenny is seen upside down wedged between two pipes, slightly scratched up. He mumbles an incoherent protest.

Canon: It's a Mother Thing

Only Panel: Kenny (toddler) is sitting on a doctor's examining table, inspecting the stethescope around the doctor's neck while the latter addresses his mother. Rinzii, looking thoroughly terrified, says to the doctor, "Tell me the truth, Doctor--is my precious baby going to make it?" The doctor is much calmer; he is practically rolling his eyes. He replies to Rin, "Yes, Morei-san, he'll be fine. Like I said before, it's a very mild papercut."

Not Sure: Boys and Dolls

Panel 1: The scene is a waiting room of the nondescript sort; signs only say "Waiting Room". A few people are sitting around...waiting. Rinzii is signing in with the receptionist and Kenny (toddler) plays with something like Legos on the floor.

Panel 2: A random woman who has been waiting approches Kenny. She says, "Hello, little girl! Didn't your mommy give you any dollies to play with?" Ken ignores her. (Note that he really does look slightly androgynous, and in fact he will only become more so as he grows up, no matter how the poor thing dresses. Long live Bishounen!)

Panel 3: The woman fishes a doll out of the nearby waiting-room toychest.

Panel 4: She places it in the hands of Ken, who does not look as if he was quite ready to be given another toy.

Panel 5: Nonetheless, he examines it with curiosity.

Panel 6: Ken pulls the head off the doll.

Panel 7: He raises the headless doll like a bottle and tries to drink out of the neck.

Panel 8: Ken notices that there is something wrong with what he is trying to drink.

Panel 9: Ken holds the doll and examines it with disturbed puzzlement.

Panel 10: He shakes it upside down in case anything is going to come out of the neck.

Panel 11: Deeply diappointed, he puts the head back on the doll.

Panel 12: Rinzii looks over her shoulder and says, "Oh, my baby is a boy."

Panel 13: The woman who gave Ken the doll, a bit traumatized and with a massive sweatdrop, answers, "I can see that." (By this time Ken is back to playing with Legos or whatever it was he originally had.)

I wonder if there are any artists out there who could draw this thing for me? Well, probably, but they might quit at one of two points: a) when the gore gets intense in maybe the sixth or seventh chapters or b) when the Chick-tract-like plotline reveals itself as such. Also, they might not do it exactly the way I want, which is one major reason why I always try to do everything myself. Also, I would have to communicate with them, which is the other reason I always try to do everything myself. I look forward to summer vacation and hope that I can stay awake long enough to practice drawing from my how-to-draw-anime books. Hey, you know what would be great? A sweet, patient, loving Christian husband...to make out with every morning until there is absolutely no chance of falling back asleep.

Love always,

Violet Black

Comic #3: Embarassment

I drew this after today's events.

New blog!

Dear Blog,

Today I made you. Yes I did.

I have another blog right now, one at Wordpress, but this one has more storage space for my artwork and also currently has the advantage of being unknown. On my other blog, although no one knows of it except those who have been told, I was kind of embarassed that it left room for one of my closest [read: only] friends to shoot down one of the opinions I am very self-conscious about. Actually, the issue is more complicated than that: I was interested in the issue at least half because I had a dream about it long before I knew of its reality, thus lending the suggestion of divine credibility to my concern. It should be noted that the the last time I had a best friend (whom I communicated with, at least), I stopped speaking to him when he ridiculed (behind my back, to my sister) the amount of weight I put in my dreams. (There is a difference, though--with that other best friend, he and my sister were arguing not about dreams per se but about the existence of God. I tend to take religious insults very personally. I have nothing against atheists in general, but plenty against atheists who mock what I believe.)

Now, my dilemma here shall be this: To whom shall I give the URL? Not friends from college, to be sure, but my family perhaps? Then also, there might be topics on which I have thoughts that I would not want them to know. But who would I feel comfortable sharing my deepest secrets with? Come to think of it, what do I have a blog for if I am not comfortable sharing information with anybody?

Oh, right. The comics.


The first two are about me and the third one is about two of my original characters, though outside of the usual continuity of their lives. In case you do not get it, it is about a conflict in the opinions of the two characters as to what constitutes ideal child-rearing conditions. Also, in case anyone is so bored they actually care, the woman is not the child's mother but his mother's roommate. I am not sure where if anywhere his actual mother is; I think I drew him too young for this to be set after her death, but since this is outside the continuity I guess it does not matter. Heh...I could be a good sci-fi-nitpicker nerd if I wanted to. A wizard did it, hahahaha.

And in other news, I need to figure out what S. R. means in my pen name and URL. I have had the name Violet Black picked out for awhile now, but violetblack.blogspot.com was taken by someone called Ione. Thus I expanded my name to include two middle initials that could make me look rather English on the spine of a novel. So I am Violet S. R. Black now. Violets R Black. I am so darn clever I can scarcely believe it!!

Sohalia - Moonglow (Sanskrit)
Sakina - Calmness, comfort, peace of God (Arabic)
Raziah - The Lord's secret (Aramaic)
Reiko - Beautiful, lovely child (Japanese)
Renee - Reborn (French, Latin)

Huh, with combinations of those I could name a dozen Mary Sues!
I think I will go with Sakina and Renee, though. Ah, the joy of pen names!

With lurve,
Violet Sakina Renee Black
^-----------------XD Teehee!

Edit: Oooh, Sanura is Egyptian for kitten! Is that cute or what??
Violet Sanura Renee Black, anyone?